Under the weather toddler (from Mommy's point of view)

Haize has had a hard couple of days. I was not planning on writing a new post about it, but I wanted to update my blog and I feel this is the most significant issue at the moment. Back in December I scheduled an appointment with the Pediatrician for a check up, which took place yesterday. Haize has been fine (except for the continuous runny nose that he seems to be living with these days) up until a couple days prior to the appointment. He had been coughing, cranky and sick-sounding so I informed the Doctor of his symptoms. After an examination, it was determined that H has two ear infections. This seemed to start the series of misfortunate events. So there we were, waiting on the nurse to come into the room with a shot. As soon as she walked in, H fell down and hit his face on the bottom of a chair, causing him to get an instant swollen black eye. He was very upset about this, as was I. But then I noticed that the nurse had not one, not two, but FOUR shots she preparing. Now, I myself can barely handle one shot and here she was about to give my poor, sweet, freshly black-eyed toddler four of them (and prick his finger too!)

We made it through, although it was not easy. And today he has been throwing up and refusing to take his medicine without a struggle. I know that all of us mothers have to go through this and that is just a part of it. I am hoping for a better day tomorrow. I am extremely thankful that I have a child who has no major medical problems. I work with children everyday in my work life who are faced with a number of significant perplex obstacles in their lives. It really puts things into perspective for me. This minor issue has caused me to think about the mothers out there who have a child with real medical complications. God bless them and their precious little ones. I just hate more than anything seeing my sweetheart sick. He is my baby, always will be, the same baby that I fell head over heels for on December 17th, 2008 at 6:45 P.M. The teenie tiny preemie that I was absolutely fascinated by. The one that I always have thought the world of. And yes, he is bigger now, but still perfect.

(I still say the best prescription is kisses and hugs,

and I plan on filling that one every chance I get!)

Heartache

I always say I am going to update this, then I never do. Right now as I am all alone, I feel like I need to. My husband and I have gone through a hard time this week. It all started late one night while Haize was sleeping, my husband and I decided to stand in the kitchen together and wait for the results of a pregnancy test. I asked him "Do you think I am?". His response was "I think its about 50/50". I had been telling him that I was for days, I just knew it in my heart. I said "Well, I am about 99 to 1". So we looked, and there it was, 3 tests- all positive! I started freaking out, I didn't know what to think! He was ecstatic. I couldn't believe my baby boy was going to be a big brother. So days later I made Haize some cute shirts that said "Big Bro" and even got some announcements made. We were 7 weeks in and I told my husband that we would wait to tell everyone and we did, we held on to the announcements for a few days. Finally we couldn't hold it in any longer, so we sent them out. Just a couple days later in the emergency room we found out that the baby isn't developing right and my body is in the process of losing the baby. I was devastated, but sort of in denial. This has happened to us before, but at that time I wasn't a mommy yet, I didn't know what it felt like to love someone THAT much. So it was hard, but this was much much worse. I was just so confused, I didn't know why this was happening to us. Then I thought of the announcements which would be arriving at people's houses the next day. So I had to share the sad news, I didn't want anyone else to congratulate us because it was just like a knife to the heart. But I was still in denial. I was praying and aching for everything to be okay, to wake up from this nightmare. Today it has become such a reality. I have cried until my eyes are swollen. I feel like, as much pain as I am in today, it is nothing compared to the pain my heart is in. I am praying for some sort of answer to ease my grief.

I'm clinging to the thought that someday my husband and I will expect another baby, and it will be a miracle like Haize. I will not complain about how much I hate being pregnant, or that I hate going to the doctor, or how I hate being sleep deprived and being up all night with a newborn, or being spit up on, because I will be able to fully cherish a miracle. I will be ever thankful for every moment I have with my children. I will cherish every song and hug. I will remember every sweet smile.

And no matter what, I will never forget this poor baby in heaven, who I have been carrying for just a few short weeks, who my heart aches for, and who I already love so much it hurts.

Blue Bonnets

Hair blowin' in the wind
Wonder what you pretend you are
When you run
Bandana on your head
Your face is turning red
You throw it down to the ground
When you are done

I'll think of you
When the blue bonnets bloom
When the blue bonnets bloom
I'll think of you

You always seem to make me laugh
When you ask me 'What is that?'
A million times
And you know
Little things that you do
They are the things that get me through
When I'm up to my hips in snow

I'll think of you
When the blue bonnets bloom
When the blue bonnets bloom
I'll think of you

Another night I'm working hard
Another night, another bar
A million miles outta touch
Say your prayers, say my name
Keep it fresh on your brain
And don't forget that I love you this much

I'll think of you
When the blue bonnets bloom
When the blue bonnets bloom
I'll think of you

-Cross Canadian Ragweed

Oh so blessed

Lately:


Well, what is new with the Thornton family? We have 2 new additions, our GIANT bloodhound, Cooter and our welsh corgi, Annie Oakley. Cooters tag on his collar says "Cooter Don Randall Farris Thornton" haha, my husband wanted it to be as long as possible. And, guess where the Farris came from.. Definitely my DAD! He calls Haize "Haize Randall Farris Thornton" lol, its funny! Oh and I have recently acquired a job. I still get to stay at home with my boy a lot though which is perfect. I've been working at a psychiatric hospital, called Acadia, since the beginning of December. It's a great place to work with some great people.

Christmas went great, we got some great things! My husband bought me a concho belt and we also got a new DVD video camera (Thanks Meemaw & Liza, LOVE IT!!) We stayed here in Clyde for Christmas, and my Meemaw & Liza came to visit. I worked part of Christmas day (voluntarily). Daniel, Brandi, Job, Joah & baby Ezra came down after Christmas, that is my sister and her family. We had so much fun making wall crosses and hanging out at primetime, we wish they could have stayed longer. My brother-in-law went to Cavenders and bought a pair of boots, when he got back I noticed they were the same exact ones as mine! Great minds think alike! My nephews are precious, my sister is beautiful and my brother-in-law is one of the nicest people I know. Hopefully we can go visit them in New Mexico soon. My best friend Lesley and her boyfriend Leo also came to visit, I was so happy to see her. We got to hang out on New Years Eve! It was a fun night. We went to Chilis to pick up a cousin first then to Elegante then to the Lucky Mule, we had a super good time! The next day Haize went to El Paso to visit all of his great grandparents, great aunt and even his great-great-grandmother! It was his first trip to El Paso, but there will be many more to come! He will be so used to that drive, just like I was when I was a kid!

As for my husband, well he deserves his own paragraph! He has been the biggest help ever, I can't believe how great he is. And not just with Haize, but everything! This past week he stayed home with our sick baby boy because he is just that wonderful! We are so lucky and blessed to have this life we live and to be in love as much as we are.

Lately we have just been chasing our handsome prince around, he is into everything. When we tell him "no" he looks back and smiles and it just melts us! I end up falling onto the floor and cuddling him right up! Probably not the best discipline strategy but hey, he is my baby boy, and he is too dang cute to say no! (And yes, this child is beyond spoiled by everyone) but it's okay, he is our pride and joy, who could ask for more?

We are so ready for softball to start, my husband is counting down the days.. No, literally! He has a countdown on his iPhone, it contains things such as: my birthday, our sons' birthday, our anniversary, his birthday THEN the day of the softball meeting for team coaches. Yes, it's a little ridiculous, but it makes him happy (and me too). He just got a new bat for his bday, which isn't until the 19th. You can bet that when I am at work on Sunday from 12-7 him, Dad & Shane will be at the park hitting softballs, just like last Sunday. Then when I go to my parent's house after work my husband will tell me how terrible Dad did, and Dad will tell me how horrible my hubby is. I'm stuck in the middle of this ongoing joke between them that involves them talking
bad about each other every chance they get. They get such a kick out of it. EVERY time I talk to my dad he ALWAYS without fail asks.. "What's that no good piece of crap lazy guy your married to doing?" You must understand this is the opposite of my husband. And if he is around, he is sure to have me tell my dad something ugly. The truth is they are great friends! Now how cute is that?

So, just now after serving dinner, picking the little ones dinner up off the floor, making the guys necklaces, and cutting my husbands hair at 9:00 at night I have realized that living with these boys is a full time job, plus overtime. I am a barber, driver, cook, seamstress, painter, pitcher, catcher, boo boo fixer, janitor, laundry doer, pick-up-after-er, put-seat-down-after-er, secretary, personal shopper, video taping, photo taking, psych hospital working, softball stat recording, beer fetching, jewelry making, running around wife, mom, sister-in-law, best friend, cousin, daughter. I am just ready to go lay in my bed that has a softball glove under the mattress to help break it in, then my husband just told me to charge the video camera so I can sit in the cold and video tape the guys playing softball tomorrow. I am not the only one, no not at all. Most of you moms know what I mean. I don't think any of us would trade it for anything though. So I will hem their pants with a smile and think..

Thank you God for making me a skilled girl who can do anything, but most of all Thank you for all these boys in my life. Family or not, I am keeping them no matter what!

Haize 1st Birthday 12/17/09

These are pictures from his actual birthDAY, his birthday party pictures are in a previous blog :)

Wake up sweet sunshine, you are 1 today!!

Lets go to the park, it is so pretty outside!

Read the sign! It says "Thornton's dry goods"

Notice the hubby playing in the background.. haha!

In jail? On your birthday?

Of course not!

Night night sweet baby, tomorrow you will be 1 year and 1 day old
and still just as special :)

Haize's birthday party at the Family life Center

So I still haven't uploaded the pictures from Haize's birthday party (sorry Meemaw & Liza). But here are some!

This was the invitation, super cute in a red envelope with a bronc rider on it.

These were the gift bags, with bronc riders on them.

His cowboy high chair with cute cowboy stuff on it

Haize and his buddy Ryan who is about 4 months older than him

McKenzie, prettiest girl I know!

Thanks Jace and Monte for the cool lion ride-on toy!

Paw Paw

All these gifts made him sleepy!

Baby's first Halloween

Haize's first Halloween went good, he got to dress up and go trick or treating and eat candy, he looked precious. He was such a good little lion, I am super proud! Lately he has been getting into EVERYTHING and tearing things up. He makes the biggest messes, I have to clean the house 1000 times a day now. He is a huge copycat now too, as we speak he is standing up putting his hand on the keyboard and trying to type like me. Earlier I was making this sound with my mouth and he started doing it too! He is so smart it blows my mind! I cant believe how fast this time has gone by he is almost a year old!! He is taking steps and learning to walk its so precious! Right now he just started making that sound again! Too cute!